Sanity is Not an Option

Life happens. Go crazy or go home!

Recent Posts

  • Miracles Happen

    Tuesday, June 20, 2017 started like a regular day. Cody and I got the kids ready and we went to Nana’s. Then Cody headed off to his job in Salt Lake. My mom and I fed the kids breakfast. I was able to have a bowl of cereal before my doctors appointment. My doctors appointment was at 9:30 AM. When we got there they checked my blood pressure and it was high. They let me sit for about 20 minutes and came and rechecked. Instead of going down my blood pressure went up in 20 minutes. My doctor came in and asked all the usual questions. Then she stood up and asked if I was ready to have a baby today. She decided because my blood pressure was high that we should just have a baby. She asked my mom if she would take me to the Riverton Hospital right away. I asked her if I could wait for Cody to get home at 3 PM, but she said it would be better for me to get there sooner. Then she stripped my membranes and said I was dilated to a 4. I never want my membranes stripped again! That was so painful! When she left and I got dressed I told the kids that we are going to have the baby. Ella seemed excited for a three year old. Daniel was jumping up and down he was so excited. I decided not to call Cody until I was all hooked up to the IVs. Mom called Gary on the way there. When she told him that we were on our way to have a baby he kept saying don’t lie to me. Daniel kept laughing and saying we’re not lying. We got to the hospital too soon. I was panicking. Three kids! Mom thought that we didn’t get there fast enough. She kept hitting all the red lights. I said that if I was having contractions I would care, but I wasn’t so I told her to take her time! When we got to the hospital they took us to a giant room. It was nice. I changed into the robe and got all checked in. My nurse was named Darby, and she was really nice. Sadly, she couldn’t find a vein to get my IV in. She called an older nurse in to help. After three tries they finally got it in and started the pitocin. This was 12:15pm when I finally was all hooked up. Darby checked me and I was still at a 4. I finally called Cody. He was on his lunch break. I asked how it was going and then said, “Well, are you ready to have a baby?” I told him that the IV was hooked up and that I was just barely starting to have contractions. He said he would be there as soon as he could. Mom took the kids to lunch. There was nothing in the cafeteria that they wanted so she took them to McDonalds and then to her house. She told me to call her when it was close to pushing time. At 12:40pm Dr Bechek came and broke my water. The contractions were starting to get stronger, but I wanted to wait for Cody to get my epidural. Cody got to the hospital around 1pm. I got my epidural at 1:40pm. It took about ten minutes to get my legs to start feeling numb, but as soon as that happened I was glad! Around 2pm Darby came in and decided we needed to put a heart rate monitor on Walnetta’s head because she kept getting away from the outside monitor. So, they put that on. 2:20pm I was 90% effaced and dilated to a 5. Walnetta was still really high up. We decided to watch a movie. The chrome book wasn’t working so I started a movie (Beauty and the Beast) on my phone. I started to get really tired and couldn’t keep my eyes open. Cody ran to the snack room and got some cookies for him and an Italian ice for me. Just as we were getting ready to enjoy our snacks we heard the heart rate monitor drop. See, every time I had a contraction Walnetta’s heart rate would drop, which is normal if the baby’s head is low. Her head was not low, though. Then the heart rate dropped really low and didn’t come back up. All of a sudden Darby and a few other nurses were in there. They started rolling me back and forth from side to side to try and get her heart rate back up. Then I heard talk of c-section… They put oxygen on me and kept rolling me. I had no idea what the other nurses were doing down below, but Cody said that there was a lot of blood. I watched a nurse hand Cody scrubs and they started to wheel my bed out. Emergency c-section. In the operating room it was so chaotic. The older nurse kept yelling at me to roll over all the way. I couldn’t feel my legs, so I was doing my best. Then the anesthesiologist said something about no time. They escorted Cody out of the room. The anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask on me that I felt like I couldn’t breathe through. Then he told me my arm was going to sting, but that I would be asleep in ten seconds. I started to panic, then I was out. This all happened around 3:10pm. Walnetta was born at 3:22pm. They put her directly on oxygen and called a specialist. I had a placental abruption. The placenta had come unattached from the uterus. The umbilical cord was empty. Walnetta wasn’t getting any blood or oxygen anymore. And to top it all off, I was hemraging. (Cannot spell that word for the life of me!) I don’t know how long I was out. When I started to wake up I didn’t remember anything. I had the breathing tube in my mouth still. The nurse came and took it out and I started to panic and cry. Then all the memories of why I was there came back and I started crying even more. They hurried and brought Cody back. He showed me pictures of Walnetta and let me know that she was doing really well. They took her to the special care unit to keep an eye on her, but she was doing better than they thought she would be. Dr Bechek came in and hugged us and explained what had happened. We don’t know why it happened. It only happens to 1% of pregnant women. She was so grateful that we were in the hospital because if we had been home the results would have been so much worse. Both me and the baby could have died. She explained that we can have more kids when we are ready. I will be at a higher risk of having the same thing happen, but everything could be fine. Honestly, I am having PTSD whenever I think about having another baby. I guess we will see in a couple years! After Dr. Bechek left my nurse and Cody wheeled me into the delivery room. My mom was there waiting. Cody gathered up our stuff and I was wheeled to the room I would be in for the next few days. I didn’t get to see Walnetta for about 7 hours. They were worried about my bleeding, and I was on a drug that I had to push the button every fifteen minutes. They also had me on oxygen. So we had to wait until I wasn’t feeling dizzy anymore and after they kept an eye on my bleeding. When I finally was able to go up to see her it took awhile to transfer all my tubes to the wheelchair! I was still feeling a little dizzy, but I ignored it because I wanted my baby! Cody wheeled me up to the Special Care. It was really nice. Walnetta had her own room with a couch for Cody if he wanted to stay with her. When I saw her she looked so perfect and amazing. It was instant love! I held her for as long as I could. It was so hard to leave, but I was so tired and obviously not feeling great! 
    She was only in the Special Care for a day. Shortest of all my kids. She came to my room right after my mom and stepdad brought the kids to see us. I am so grateful for my little family. Seeing how much they loved her right away made my heart so happy. I am so grateful that everything worked out. I honestly feel like my doctor had the spirit with her. There was something about the way she said I needed to go to the hospital right away. I feel like my Heavenly Father was looking out for me and Walnetta. I am so grateful to have been in a place where I was taken care of. I knew that Walnetta was in good hands, also. I certainly have appreciated every day more after this experience. Night time feedings aren’t as emotionally draining because I am just so grateful to be here and to have my baby. 
    Walnetta Iva Owen

    Born on June 20, 2017 at 3:22PM. 

    5 lbs. 13 oz. 18.5 in. 

  • It’s Okay to Grieve!

    It’s Okay to Grieve!

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    This is a blog post that has taken me a long time. First of all, it took me awhile to even decide to share it, and second, I have had to prepare myself emotionally to be able to share this.

    I wrote a post earlier about my “miracle baby”. If you read that then you know my husband and I struggled for a long time to get pregnant with our second child. After having her I always worried about us being able to have more children. It’s a fear and a worry that I deal with every day.

    Something happened to me, us, in April. April 8th I started to bleed. T.M.I. moment: with my thyroid issues I only get Aunt Flow visits about every six months. Well, this was about two months early. I was pretty excited. (I know. But having few and far between visits makes you happy when they are early.) I was a little sad because I had been having a few symptoms of being pregnant (My boobs were bigger and I wanted to eat ribs). But with my history, I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. So I went through my day as usual.

     

    Well, about halfway through the day I noticed the cramps were worse than usual. I mean, they were in my back and painful. My mom got me some medicine, but it just barely dulled it.

    The next day (this gets a little yucky) I passed what I thought was a clot, but it didn’t look right. That’s when I knew this wasn’t a normal period. The reality of what was happening was almost unbearably horrific and upsetting. I realized that I was having a miscarriage.

    After crying for awhile I called my husband at work. I could barely keep from crying as I told him what was happening. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to tell him.

    One thing with infertility is that there is a lot of guilt. As a member of the LDS faith the guilt is even more heavy. My job as the wife is to have babies and raise my children. Sometimes I felt so depressed because I couldn’t do that. I felt/feel like I was failing and disappointing my husband. So telling him that a baby we almost had was gone broke my heart.

    He was very understanding, as was my mom when I told her. I told a few others who had gone through the same kind of thing… Then I didn’t know what to do.

    I got a couple days of, “It happens to everyone.” “At least you were able to get pregnant.” “It couldn’t have been prevented.” “Some things are just meant to happen the way they do.” Then I was sent to go back to my normal life.

    But how? I was still bleeding. I was still hurting. Constant reminders of what had happened. My heart was still broken. How do you go on as if nothing even happened? I told myself to get over it because that was what was expected. It is a “normal thing”. A lot of women go through it. I told myself these things as if that meant it was no big deal. As if it was just a scrape on my knee. I started to sink into depression and I started resenting my husband who seemed to have moved on after a few days. Worst of all, I added to my guilt. I felt guilty that I couldn’t have a healthy pregnancy, and now I felt guilty every time I felt sad about the loss.

    Almost five months later I don’t feel guilty anymore. Why? Because I discovered and decided that I am allowed to grieve. That’s right! You are allowed to grieve a miscarriage no matter how early or far a long you were. That is still a piece of you, your heart, that you lost. Don’t let people tell you that it is a common thing, so don’t worry. Don’t let people make you feel bad about crying.

    I Google searched for other people’s opinions of how to act when you’ve had a miscarriage. I wanted to figure out why I still felt so depressed after a week/month/couple months. I thought something was wrong with me. But I discovered that contrary to popular belief it is okay to be sad. Other people had felt the same way I was feeling. It is okay to cry and grieve. If someone tells you otherwise, ignore them.

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    Miscarriage Symbol

     

    If someone comes to you and shares that they have gone through or are going through a miscarriage, please don’t tell them that it’s common. Don’t tell them in any way or form to “get over it”. Just love them and let them grieve however they want.

    Five months later I am still hurting. But now I don’t feel stupid for feeling sad. I don’t feel silly about worrying about how I’m going to feel on December 2nd, the due date. I don’t regret adding a charm to my “Mom” necklace for my lost baby.

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    My “Mom” necklace. The heart with “Mom” on it is my son’s birthstone. The little blue heart is my daughter’s birthstone. The ribbon and gem represents my lost baby’s due date.

    I had a miscarriage. I grieved, and I am still grieving the loss of a piece of me. And I am not ashamed of my feelings because it’s okay. Don’t let miscarriage be treated as just a scraped knee and swept under the rug. Don’t feel bad if you need longer than a few days to get your emotions back to normal.

    Miscarriage is real. It’s so hard. Let’s help each other grieve instead of making each other feel stupid or invalidating feelings that are so hard and real. Let’s support each other. And let’s never take away from each other’s memories of our angel babies. No matter how early the baby was lost, it’s still lost.

    Talk about miscarriage. Share. Don’t let others feel alone. That’s why I am sharing. I love you all!

  • 10 Tips to Make the Most Out of Your Time at Disneyland from a Disney-Addict

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    Okay, something you’ll learn about me through reading this blog is that I am OBSESSED with Disney. I love it. I love everything about it (except ticket prices…) I know the history behind Disney. I’ve read the bios. I used to have season passes to Disneyland. The list goes on. Also, I was blessed to marry someone who is as obsessed as I am!

    It is February. One of the best months to go to Disneyland, so I have been day-dreaming about it. I decided to write this post!

    Now that I don’t live close and don’t have passes, I have to plan out my trips to make them worthwhile and worth the money. I was worried about posting this. These are my personal secrets that have made all my trips amazing! If everyone knows, then Ugh. But I decided to share my experiences and great Disneyland knowledge with everyone else! I know, I know. I am a super nice person!! Haha!

    Here are ten tips that will make your trip to Disneyland less stress and more fun!

     

    1. Get there super-duper early!

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    Mornings at Disneyland are the best. Even in the busiest months of Disneyland, if you get there early, you can get almost all the big rides done by the afternoon. See, my theory is that all the locals don’t show up until the afternoon, so crowds are slightly smaller. Also, there aren’t a ton of people who will be willing to sit outside the gate for over an hour!

    There’s also some awesome things that happen in the morning at Disneyland. If you are there before the front gate opens here’s what happens. You sit and wait. then fifteen minutes before the posted opening time they choose people from the crowd to get inside first and count down from ten, then everyone briskly walks in and gets to high five workers and wait by the end of Main Street where the rest of the park is roped off. Then at the posted opening time, they lower the ropes and off you go!

    Something amazing that was totally worth doing for my family was Disneyland was opening at 8am, so we showed up at the gate at 6:30am. We were the first ones there!! We watched the workers get ready. We danced to the music. We ate some pack-able breakfast we brought. It was not as bad as you would think. Then, as it got closer to opening time a castmember came and talked to us. They had noticed that we were the first ones there. She asked if we would like to help open Disneyland!!! We got to go in and get our pictures taken at the Mickey Mouse flower thing with no one else in the picture!! If you’ve ever been to Disneyland, then you know that is impossible any other time! Then the castmember introduced us to the crowd, we counted down from ten, and we took off to our next waiting spot! If anything annoying or bad happened to us the rest of that day we just shrugged it off and said, “We opened Disneyland.” It was totally worth getting up at 5am!

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    2. Make a plan!

    Always, always, always have your Disney mornings planned out. In order to get everything done, you need to have a plan! The afternoons get chaotic with parades and bigger crowds. They are more play by ear, but mornings are wasted if not planned out. While waiting in line to get into the park my hubby and I review our plans that we made for that morning. It usually involves one person running to get some fastpasses while the other person runs to get in line at a popular ride. I will talk about both of those things in more detail.

    When we go to Disneyland we have our mornings planned out up until lunch time. After that we just go with the flow depending on where in the park we end up at that time.

    Again, without a clear morning plan, the morning will go by so fast and be wasted!!!

    3. Divide and Conquer!

    Okay, so as I said before my hubby goes one way and I go another in the morning, but that’s also throughout the day. We always ride all the rides together, but what I mean by going one way and another is that we always have one person (my hubby because he is faster than me) go get fastpasses for a popular ride and I get in line at another ride. Then he calls me and meets me in line. This is such a good thing! This way we always have a fastpass and we always know where we are headed. Plus, we get in line for one ride, then fastpass line for the next. I will explain fastpasses a little later.

    Use apps like Mousewait on your phones to keep track of line times. This will help you decide where to send people from your group!

    4. Get a 3-Day or More Pass to Enjoy Both Parks

    I feel like a 3-Day pass is the best. Most people think the 5-Day pass is too much time. 2-Days just isn’t enough. 3-Day passes give you just enough time, plus you get a magic morning. Magic Mornings allow you to pick one of your days to enter the park an hour before open. Always check Disneyland’s website to make sure which days the Magic Morning is available.

    We usually go for the 3-Day pass and divide it as follows: the first day is Disneyland, the second day is California Adventure until it closes (it closes earlier than Disneyland), then finish the second day in Disneyland, and the third day is a day to ride our favorite rides at either park. We like to do fireworks and Paint the Night the first day, and I love to finish off my trip with Fantasmic. The second night is World of Color.

    5. Know Which Rides to Hit First!

     

    This goes along with making a plan. There are certain rides in both parks that if you don’t go in the morning, you will have to wait in super long lines for them. For our first day in Disneyland I run with the kids to Peter Pan while my hubby gets a fastpass to either Space Mountain or Star Tours or Fantasmic. Peter Pan is one of the most iconic rides and it is a majority of people’s favorite ride. It also has no fastpass, so after about five minutes of the park being open the line gets to about a 45 minute wait. That’s why I say ALWAYS do Peter Pan first!!

    At California Adventure we change a little depending on our mood. I either wait in line at Radiator Springs Racers or Toy Story MidWay Mania. If I go to Toy Story, then my hubby gets a Radiator Springs fastpass. If I go to Radiator Springs, then he gets a Tower of Terror fastpass. Also, my hubby always gets a fastpass to World of Color before or after the other fastpasses. Radiator Springs is always going to have a super long line. Even the line for the fastpass is long! My tip for that: it’s worth the wait!

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    Another thing we just learned on our last trip was to go to ToonTown right when it opens (if you want to meet characters). We went as soon as it opened and ended up meeting Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, and Pluto with the smallest lines I’ve ever seen for them! It was awesome!

    6. Fast Passes and Rider Swaps are Key!

    For those that don’t know, fastpasses are amazing things. At most of the big rides Disneyland offers a fastpass. With this pass you get to by-pass the longer line and get to the ride a little faster. The fastpasses are given for certain times of the day. You get an hour block of when you can redeem them. You can only get one fastpass per ticket every two hours with the exception of fastpasses for World of Color in California Adventure and Fantasmic in Disneyland. Don’t try to ride all the rides without using fastpasses. Lines are ridiculously long most of the time. Fastpasses allow you to ride some rides instead of standing in line for a certain ride.

    Rider Swap is as good as fastpasses. If you have littles that can’t ride the big rides, then use this to your advantage. The last time we went to Disneyland we had our 6 year old and our 1 year old. We would take turns riding with my son while the other took our little girl on smaller rides. (We each rode Winnie the Pooh and the Little Mermaid at least five times.) Some rides they make you prove you have a little one and some don’t. so just as a time saver always all go up to the castmember in charge of the line to get the rider swap. The best thing about this is when you get a fastpass and a rider swap. That makes it so no one in your party has to stand in the long line. Also, my son loved rider swap because he got to ride every big ride twice in a row! Bonus for him!

    7. Know the Maps and Learn the Shortcuts!

    Disneyland and California Adventure are big and crowded! There are no perfect ways to get anywhere, but there are some paths less traveled. I wish I could give you more advice, but all I’ve really got is the tip to print out a map at home and study it! And good luck!

    There are a couple ones I know. The fastest way to Tower of Terror sometimes is through Bug’s Land. To get to Fantasyland or out of Fantasyland, there’s usually no one by Snow White’s wishing well. Other than that, it’s trial and error. If you have a jogging stroller with the one wheel in front you can use that to part crowds! Haha!

    8. Don’t Miss Out on the Shows!

    I know a lot of people who have decided that riding rides during parades and fireworks are the best. I used to be one of those people, but now that I’ve seen the shows and watched the fireworks and the Paint the Night Parade, I would never go to Disneyland without seeing them. The key is knowing which night or time to do which show. Mickey and the Magical Map is amazing! It made me tear up because it reminded me of my childhood. I seriously turned back into a little girl! It is a great show to do midday when your feet need a rest and you want to get out of the sun. Same with Aladdin in California Adventure, unfortunately that show is gone, but soon it will be a Frozen show.

    Fantasmic is so good! Try to go to the earlier show, then you can stay where you were for that and watch the fireworks. Or go watch Paint the Night (AMAZING!!!) and then stay where you are for fireworks. And never go without seeing World of Color. If you are nostalgic like me, you will love all these shows!

    9. Pack Food and Know Cheaper Ways to Buy Meals!

    Food and water are so important! If you don’t want grumpy people, pack snacks and water. We always have a backpack full of snacks, sandwiches, and frozen Powerades and water. It’s heavy, but totally worth it! We always pack one meal and buy one meal. Eat breakfast before you get there or as you are waiting for the parks to open.

    When you buy meals, if you are on a tight budget, always check the menus online and find the cheaper places. Also, we are super cheap (husband’s a teacher, so that means not a lot of money) so we order kids meals for everyone! It is enough food to fill us, plus a water. If you do want to splurge a little, try out the Blue Bayou in the Pirates of the Caribbean for desserts. We only get desserts when we go there, but it’s fun just to say you did go there. Our favorite places to eat are the Hungry Bear over by Splash Mountain and the Sky Jumpers over by Soarin Over California.

    10. Become Childlike and Enjoy the Magic!

    This is my most important tip. If you don’t revert back to your childhood, then you will not enjoy yourself. Disneyland is a place that is built on magic and the wonder of childhood. I feel like whenever we go, my husband and I become children! My husband gets so hyper and it makes everyone else laugh and enjoy the time there. We bond with our kids and tell them of our childhood memories. It really is a place where you can forget all your grown-up worries and just laugh and play with your kids. Don’t think about the cost, just enjoy!

    My favorite part last time we went was meeting the princesses with my baby girl. The first time I waited in line with her she fell asleep, but I still went in and took pictures with them. Just had a sleeping little girl in my arms! It was more for me than her.

    My husband was jealous of our son. He was able to do the Jedi Academy and fought Darth Maul!!

    Disneyland is amazing. It is a place to be a kid and make memories with your kids. I will keep going as often as I can. I hope that this post helps you make plans and keeps your Disney vacation easier and more enjoyable.

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    If you have any questions or want me to clarify anything, just leave me a comment.

     

  • Star Wars Party Ideas

    Star Wars Party Ideas

    Okay. Here is the post I promised: how to decorate and do a Star Wars party with no money and no mode of transportation!

    I say no transportation because for the last MONTH our only car has been at the service center at our dealership. I will not go into details on that because I do not want to swear on my blog! Just know that I am angry and if you want to know where never to go, I will tell you.

    Anyways, we also have no money to spend on extras. It sucks, but it’s life. I will tell you one quick money tip: we got all my son’s birthday presents on Amazon.com and spent a total of $10 on them. We got Star Wars Micro Machines: the storm trooper and the Millennium Falcon, plus a set of ships and people. Then we also got five Hot Wheels Star Wars ships and a Death Star carrying case. How did we get all this only spending $10?? Swagbucks! Swagbucks is how we are able to pay for Christmas and birthdays. It is a lifesaver! (If you want to sign up, here is a referral link: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/slowen0110 )

    Okay. So let’s get into the how I did a great party with no money and no way to get to a store!!

    First, you need a few things: you need to be crazy, you need to have no life, and you need some basic art supplies lying around your house! Good? Okay.

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    1. Birthday Signs

    For these birthday signs I used: regular paper, construction paper, pencil, black sharpie, glue, and colored pencils.

    What I did, because I forgot to mention that I do not have ink in my printer, is I looked up Star Wars coloring pages on Google. When I found simple ones, I drew them out. If you are not a good eyeballer-drawer, then I would suggest making the picture as big as you can on your screen and tracing!

    After I drew them, I colored them, then cut them out and glued them onto colored construction paper. The good guys are on blue, and the bad guys are on red!

    Then I came up with some birthday quotes and wrote them under each character.

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    The storm trooper was on the door: “This is the party you’re looking for!”

    Boba Fett: Let’s clone some more cupcakes!

    Darth Vader: Happy birthday, you rebel scum!

    Yoda: Celebrate your birthday we must!

    Chewbacca (my favorite one I did): Uuuurrrh Arrghh Aaaahhhr!

     

    2. Birthday Banner

    Every birthday I make a new banner to hang in the front room. For this Star Wars one I used black construction paper, cut stars out of yellow paper, white paper for the letters, then I drew a Death Star and Star Destroyer.

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    My little girl helped me … Kind of.

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    I also drew the Resistance signs.

     

    3. R2-D2 and BB-8

    These were so fun, and I think I’m going to keep them forever! I used Google to find the coloring pages, then I drew them out on poster paper. Then I recruited my hubby to help trace them with sharpie and color them.

     

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    4. Light Sabers

    Construction paper is my friend. I cut out the ends, two red and two blue. I cut out black handles.

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    Then I used regular foil to make the designs on the handles.

    Then I hung them up on the wall!

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    5. Star Wars Chalkboard Story

    We have a cupboard that we painted with chalkboard paint (Love it!). I used it to write a story and make it look like the opening credits of Star Wars. It is so easy and looks so cool! Just start writing small and squished, then with each line write bigger and more spread out! I was worried it wasn’t going to work, but it did!

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    6. Cake and Decorations (pretty much everything else)

    So I was lucky that I married a Star Wars/Star Trek nerd! My hubby has quite a few Star Wars toys that we were able to use as decorations.

    I was able to set up the toys on the table and counter.

    The cake was just a boxed cake with homemade chocolate cream cheese frosting. We used Micro Machine characters to decorate the cake. The cupcake stand and cupcake decorations we got at Smith’s a month or so ago. (Always think ahead!)

    Then my brother did take me to the store the day before so I could get balloons.

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    That’s that! If you have specific questions, just drop me a comment. I believe in making birthdays special. I won’t let a broken car stand in my way!!!

    HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY, my little Jedi!

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  • First Post of 2016

    This is a post that was meant to be done on the first day of January, but life threw me a few curve balls already, so it’s a few days late …

    It’s a week into the new year and everyone is setting their new goals. Lose weight, be nicer, get more organized, etc. It’s great! I love making goals and trying to be better.

    Unfortunately, I really suck at following through on most of my goals! Maybe if I know that people have read my goals I’ll feel more pressure to actually do them? *smiley, embarrassed face*

    So, here are my goals:

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    1- Lose at least 50 pounds this year.

    2- Write a short story a week.

    3- Write a blog post a week.

    4- Declutter my apartment.

    5- Be a better wife.

    6- Be a better mother.

    (5 & 6 were added since I made my little Resolutions sign!)

    There, you are all my witnesses! Please hold me accountable! Feel free to comment on my blog asking how things are going! Light the fire under my tush!!!

    Anyways, not the most insightful post, but I want to wish you all luck in your goal achieving for the year of 2016! To help hold me accountable again, next week I will be posting “How to Decorate for a Star Wars Party Without Money or a Mode of Transportation!” Something like that. I’ll think of a better title!!

     

     

  • Happy 2nd Birthday, Miracle Baby

    miracles

    This is a post that will be a little more serious and religious. It’s also more personal and hard to share in writing. It’s extra long, too, but it will be worth it to read. I think.

    When my son, D, turned one, my hubby and I decided it was time to start trying for another baby. We tried for a few months, and soon I was feeling sick and tired and all those symptoms that make you excited but not. We went to the doctor and got a blood test done. It was a big, fat, stupid NEGATIVE! I was so surprised and sad. I was so sure that I was pregnant. To add to the crap results, my doctor informed me that I have Hypothyroidism. My thyroid was basically taking a nap, not working, slacking on the hormone making job.

    I don’t know about you, but I always just assumed that a Thyroid was like a Spleen. I had no idea that the Thyroid does SO MUCH!

    Well, my doctor informed me that there was no way I could get pregnant until my Thyroid was functioning correctly. This would happen once we found the correct dose of Synthroid. Finding the correct dose is not science, apparently. They prescribe you some, you take it every day, then go get your blood checked after three months. Then they see if you need more or less. It takes forever and costs money every time you have to go in. We couldn’t afford it.

    I tried a couple of years taking supplements and eating Thyroid-helping food. Nothing was working. Every month I cried and cried.

    After D turned 4, I started telling myself that I didn’t need anymore kids. I was happy. Or so I told myself. I started thinking about saving money to adopt. It had been three, almost four years of disappointment, and I had had enough.

    After I had decided that my life was fine as it was, I decided to just be happy, and not think about babies anymore. Lots had happened in the last few years. We lost my father-in-law, my mom and step-dad had moved temporarily to New Zealand.

    One day I went with my son and mother-in-law to watch my father-in-law’s headstone get put in. Afterwards we went met up with my hubby and went to lunch. Then I took Cody to see the headstone. While we were there I started feeling sick. I went home, threw up, and laid in bed the rest of the day. The next day, I was still feeling sick. I was pretty sure that I had gotten food poisoning.

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    After a week of feeling “off” I finally took a pregnancy test. On Cody’s birthday we got our first positive test with my daughter!!! And just to make sure it wasn’t faulty … I took five more tests!

    Now, here’s the best part of the story. We went in for our first appointment. I told the doctor that I have Hypothyroidism, so he had my blood work done. He came into the room and shook his head. I remember this moment clear as day. The doctor told me that my Thyroid number was 15. It is supposed to be between 0.3 to 3.0. Because mine was 15 that meant that my Thyroid was not working. Anyways, he shook his head and said, “I have no idea how you are pregnant right now. It should not even be possible.” He hurried and prescribed me some Synthroid. Two weeks later we checked, and another miracle! After two weeks my Thyroid was perfect. The first dose he chose was right!!

    Eight months later I gave birth to a perfect little girl.

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    Sorry, that was so long, but as it’s my baby girl’s second birthday today, I had to write out this story. I learned so much in the five years it took to get her here. Heavenly Father has His own timing. We can’t rush things because we think that they need to happen now. I now know that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself, and he knows my little girl. She keeps me on my toes. If I had had her when I wanted her, then I would have had a two year old and a harder baby. I would have gone crazy!!

    I know that prayers are answered. Sometimes those answers come later than we want, or they come in a completely different way than we wanted. My little girl, my miracle baby, was meant to be here now. She was meant to come to my family. She  was meant to strengthen my testimony of faith and God’s timing. I love her so much, and as much as she challenges my sanity, I will always appreciate her smiles, giggles, and cries in my life.

    If you have any questions about my faith or experiences, feel free to comment and ask me. I want to share this experience to help others feel comfort and peace.

    Patience stinks. I know. But things happen when Heavenly Father knows they need to happen!!

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  • Are We Protecting Our Kids Too Much??

    dracdennis

    A few weeks ago I was able to go see Hotel Transylvania 2 with my little family. It was an awesome and funny movie.  I recommend it to anyone who needs a good laugh and a good cheering up.

    There was something about it that made me think more deeply than I think the movie was meant to, but it caused my mind to ponder the world we live in today. I’m not talking about all the awful things that are happening. I don’t even want to go there, yet. I do wish to send my love and prayers to all those that are suffering at this time.

    The thing that stuck out to me that is happening more and more is the fact that we are cushioning our children and causing an entitled generation. I will talk about the entitlement that is witnessed in kids more later. Right now I want to reflect on the cushioning that has happened.

    Without giving too much of the movie away (there may be slight spoilers in this post) let me describe what was going on in the part of the movie that made me think the most.  The story of Hotel Transylvania is about Dracula raising his daughter away from Humans. He wants to protect her from Humans because they are the reason his wife is dead. It’s really sad, and you can get a lot of deeper lessons out of that … But maybe another day. Anyways, a human gets into this monster hotel that Dracula runs and falls in love with his daughter.

    In the second movie Mavis (Dracula’s daughter) marries Jonathan (the human), and they eventually have a baby (Dennis or Dennisovitch). As the boy grows both Mavis and Dracula worry that he is not going to be a vampire. Mavis thinks he’s unsafe in the monster world and wants to move to the Human world.

    Dracula decides that he and his friends need to scare the monster out of Dennis, so he takes him to his old summer vampire camp. This is the part I want to write about. At the camp things are not as Dracula remembers. Instead of learning to hunt mice, the counselors set a mouse on a tee and the kids grab them – Tee Mousing. The camp songs are all about non-monster things like sharing and love (not  a bad thing, just cushioned). The worst, in Dracula’s mind, is how they learn to turn to bats and fly … The kids are harnessed on a little bounce house-type thing. Then they jump all of two feet over a counselor who is holding a net under them as they turn to bats.

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    I laughed pretty hard at this part because there is so much truth to it. Things have changed. We are so over-protective of our children! I’m not saying that we need to throw them outside all day with no one watching, but we don’t need to coddle them and helicopter-parent them. I admit I am protective of my kids.  When my son was first born I swore that I would never let anything happen to him (another movie reference: Dory: “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.”) After some time, I realized just that. If I don’t let anything happen to him, then nothing would happen to him and he would never learn anything.

    I look around today and realize that the world IS different than it was a few years ago. There are scary things out there, but there have ALWAYS been scary things out there. Instead of coddling our kids and not letting them learn from little mistakes, we need to teach them what to do in a scary situation and then let them go out and try. I am terrified to let my son go play outside by himself. I am terrified to let my son (who is almost seven) walk by my side in the parking lot without holding my hand. I am terrified to leave my kids in the car while I walk six feet to the mailbox. BUT those are minor things.

    I see kids whose parents are so protective and don’t let them go into another room without their parents. I’ve seen kids that have parents who rarely know where the kids are. There IS a happy median. If we can find it, then our kids will turn out fine. If we protect them too much, they will never learn to do for themselves = entitlement and stay home forever. If we don’t protect them a little = resentful of parents and could possibly end up missing or worse.

    I feel like I am struggling getting my thoughts out on this one…

    Let’s just finish by saying that we need to step back just a little and let our kids learn. If you’re reading this, then you obviously survived your childhood. I know I did. I learned some things on how to take care of myself along the way. My parents were great. They protected and loved me, but I got to walk over to my friend’s house and play. I got to fall off my bike and get a few fat lips. Instead of telling my that it was a bad idea to walk my dog while wearing skates, they fixed me up with band-aids after that dog pulled me into the big, poky bush! And guess what? I AM FINE!

    My kids are going to be fine. I am going to let them learn. I’m going to teach them to be safe. (My son has a password to ask for if someone tries to get him to go with them.) Let’s stop holding a net under our kids and let them learn to fly!

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  • Inner Dialogues: Ice & Snow & Driving

    This is why I don't like cars & snow.
    This is why I don’t like cars & snow.

    This morning I woke up and avoided looking out my window. It was still dark (my kids wake up before the sun, even earlier than that on weekends), but no matter how dark it was I knew I might see snow.

    See, I spent a majority of my youth in Southern California. Snow was not a daily occurrence in our Winters. I do not like snow …

    Because of that dislike for frozen rain, I have an amazing talent of being able to avoid driving during the Winter – I’m a Utah resident now. I’m lucky at avoiding driving in storms. Last year I had to drive my husband and son to their schools everyday. Somehow, someway, someone listened to my pleads. It was a pretty calm Winter.

    Anyways, there had been rumors of snow and today was a day where I needed the car. Sitting in the passenger seat on the way to my husband’s school, my inner voices/my inner dialogue (I promise I’m not crazy. I do argue with myself a lot, though.) was sounding like I had drank a gallon of energy drinks.

    “There’s no snow on the ground/road. You’ll be fine.”

    “But look, the ground looks wet. That means ice. Black ice.”

    “Well, I’ll just watch out for and be careful on wet spots.”

    “Watch all you want. You could still spin out.”

    “I’ll be fine. What do they say? Turn your nose to your bum? That sounds weird. Front of the car towards the back to keep from spinning. I’ll be fine.”

    Then my husband pipes up and interrupts my inner argument, “I driving on a day like today is worse than when there’s actually snow on the road. At least then everyone mostly knows to be careful, but days like today people don’t think about the ice.”

    Cue the alarms and panicking in my head … If you’ve seen the newer movie: “Inside Out”, then you can imagine what was going on inside my head. Even my rational side was panicking, running around, and screaming, “We’re gonna crash!”

    “I told you!” “Tear up your license so you can’t drive!” “Find a parking spot and hang out in the car all day!” (This last thought would not have worked out very well. Could you imagine me sitting in a school parking lot ALL day? I think there would have been calls made and police men and … Anyways.)

    Well, after my inner selves calmed down, I made it home fine. This is what happens to me every time Winter comes …

    Let’s talk about Winter drivers – Utah drivers … Are people with inner dialogues, such as mine, rare? Shouldn’t more people worry about icy roads?

    There are so many cars that go so fast and don’t care that bridges ice over faster than main roads … They still race over them like it’s no big deal.

    Why is it that every Winter people need to re-learn how to drive? Has anyone else noticed that? It’s insane! I wish all people would listen more to their inner dialogues.

    I’m not saying we should all be scared. That would be bad if we were all panicking as we drove. BUT if more people drove cautiously and courteously, then ice and snow would be a little less scary.

    This has been my random post for this day. Let me know what your inner dialogues are like. Or let me know your thoughts on “Winter” drivers.

    TTFN

  • Who Am I???

    I have contemplated starting a blog for quite awhile. It seems that I get the urge and the gun-ho to do it … Then something, a voice, creeps into my mind filling me with insecurities and doubt. It tells me, “What could you possibly write that anyone would care about?” “You are no one.” “You’re life is no model to brag about.”

    Great voice, huh?

    Well, I finally have found the guts to tell those doubts to go away! So what if no one reads my blog? So what if people think my writing is sub-par and just random mutterings of a nobody?

    I have decided that if I can just earn one reader … not including my mommy, who better be reading this because supporting your children, especially your favorite child, is kind of a job requirement … Then it will all be worth it!

    I may not be famous. I may not be successful. I may write about things that have been written about a million times, but at least I am finally writing them for myself.

    Who the heck am I?

    Okay, I guess a good way to start my blog is to explain who I am. At least when you know a little about me you can decide more fairly if you want to spend your time reading my random thoughts and ideas!

    My name is Stephanie. I am a wife of eight years. My husband is a History teacher named Cody. (I promise, there will be great venting posts about being married to a teacher/filing cabinet.) I am a mother of two amazing, wonderful, beautiful, stressful, crazy children, whom I love even on their worst days. I have my six (almost seven) year old son. We’ll call him BoogerWooger. Just kidding! Could you imagine if he started reading this as a teen? He would not be thrilled. Anyways, I will refer to him as “D”. Then my daughter is turning two in less than a month. I will refer to her as “Stormageddon”. “Doctor Who” fans out there? Sorry, she will be “E”.

    I grew up LDS and still am. I went to some college, but didn’t finish. I love to craft, and I love to write.

    All these things are important because they are some of the things I want to write about on this blog.

    Let’s get started on some reasons I think you should stick around and read. Of course, the choice is yours. Free agency and all that jazz …

    What is with my blog title?

    Sanity is Not an Option.

    As I was thinking of the topics I wanted to write about for my blog I was all over the place. I want to write about my kids. I want to write about crafting. I want to write about my thoughts and beliefs. I want to be able to write about my problems and concerns as a way to work them out. I want to write about all sorts of things; anything and everything!

    Hmm… my list was long and crazy, because my life is long and crazy!

    Being a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter, someone who is lost, someone who is found, someone who has thoughts and feelings, someone who has no idea what she is doing in life … Seems insane to start a blog, doesn’t it?

    To get through anything in life, to jump out on a limb and risk your dreams, you have to be insane. That’s why to get myself to start this blog I decided to throw sanity away. Sanity is not an option. From now on I will insanely rant and write and risk it all!

    Plus, is there really a sane mom out there? Making and raising children is not a task for the faint of heart!

    Why would I start a random blog about random things and then call it insane?

    Well, my reasoning for starting a blog was so that I could write.

    I am the type of person who is not very good at talking. My in-laws would agree. They think I am too quiet. However, give me a pen and a notebook (which I collect) and I can figure out any of my problems. I love to write out things to work them out. I can express myself better through written word.

    This blog is a little bit selfish. This is going to be my online journal for the world to see … Well, sort of. Don’t worry, I won’t always bore you with my daily activities and my thoughts about “Why did so-and-so say that to me?” I won’t bore you with my daily snacks and meals and outfits.

    I will share with you my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I will give you ideas on fun crafts. I will write about things that anger me or cheer me up. I will write about injustices I see in the world around me. I will write tips that you can follow or throw out.

    This blog is my way to just exist and think. Because I don’t talk, will anyone know I was even here?

    Thanks to this blog, now they will.

    Why should you care? What will you get out of reading my random posts?

    I don’t know. That is totally up to you, dear reader.

    I promise I will not force you to read if you don’t like my ideas. I won’t find where you live and cry because you hurt my feelings or threaten to egg your house.

    Read or not. It is all up to you.

    My only hope is that if you do read this, that you will be kind and considerate. These are my thoughts and my beliefs. You are entitled to your own thoughts and beliefs.

    Well, I think that is enough for that post.

    TTFN

    I have an idea!
    I have an idea!